Starting A Family: Some People Have A Plan While Others Wing It
Some people don’t intentionally or purposely start a family. It just happens. Oops, the rabbit died. And then they go from there. Other couples are more resolute in their approach. They have a plan. Of course, life doesn’t always go according to plan and humans learn to roll with the punches and the cards they are dealt.
Thirty-three percent of pregnancies that occur within marriage are unplanned. Alas, so much for setting up that baby making schedule for one-third of all married couples. Don’t despair. People survive their little surprises and even thrive.
However, if a baby is on its way in what is a really bad time in a marriage it can be quite stressful for the soon-to-be parents, which isn’t the ideal scenario. If the husband and wife are at cross purposes about the pregnancy or over their imminent responsibilities as parents this makes things even worse.
Sometimes one party is more desirous of children than the other and this can create disharmony in a marriage. And even those married couples that want to become parents may have veiled fears about how it is about to change their lives and their relationship and so they just keeping putting it off a little longer and then a little longer.Sometimes they postpone it for so long that the pregnancy doesn’t happen when they finally want it to.
Those who have a purposeful method to beginning a family may have less stress and greater happiness in their marriage.
Statistically, those who marry after the average age of 27 and decide to postpone beginning their family for a while often find that when they do get around to it, they can’t achieve a pregnancy. The peak of their fertility has come and gone, although that certainly doesn’t mean a pregnancy is impossible.
In Your Twenties
When a man and women are in their twenties, the woman’s body is ready for pregnancy. A woman’s fertility peaks at 24. From a biological standpoint, the twenties are the best time for getting pregnant and carrying a baby to term.
Women in their twenties have a lower risk of miscarriage (about 10 percent) compared to women in the 30 to 35 age range, who face a 20 percent chance of miscarriage. The risk rises to 35 percent for women in their early forties.
However, not everyone is ready for a baby when they are in their twenties.
The Benefits of Youth
Younger women are less likely to have problems with endometriosis or fibroids. Endometriosis occurs when endometrium (tissue) that lines the uterus grows outside the uterus and into the ovaries, fallopian tubes, rectum, bladder or intestines. Generally, women expel the lining in their uterus every month when they have a menstrual period; however, if the woman has endometriosis the lining flows to the back and into the abdominal cavity and it stays there. This can lead to scar tissue, lesions and cysts and can cause pain for the woman and difficulty getting pregnant.
Fibroids are benign (noncancerous) tumors that grow in the uterus (womb.) Fibroids can grow to be quite large. Fibroids can grow while a woman is pregnant, causing her pain, although it is possible to be pregnant and have fibroids and not encounter any problems. Fibroids can be removed before a woman gets pregnant or afterward.
Each couple must decide for itself when it wants to start a family. If the husband and wife can’t agree on this then it’s unlikely that they are going to be able to surmount all the other obstacles that they will face as a married couple.
Before marriage is the best time to talk about this. If one party is adamantly opposed to having children and the other is all in favor of it perhaps they should agree to part company and find someone who shares their views.
Daylan Jones researches and writes on topics related to donor sperm, artificial insemination, and donor sperm banks for Cryobank