The Top 5 Most Terrifying Roads In Britain
Thanks to a poll by Britannia Rescue, we now know what really terrifies people.
Mostly, its things that are bloody terrifying. So no prizes if you guessed that correctly.
These junctions and roads are so poorly designed, so inexplicably dangerous, so recklessly inefficient that I really wonder why they exist at all.
Let us begin.
5. Hanger Lane Gyratory
Image by David Howard
Having driven in London, I’m not sure whether this one is down to the traffic system or the driving habits of Londoners.
Pro-tip: a mid-range executive car does not make you death-proof.
Bonus points for: the most intimidating name on this list.
4. The Magic Roundabout
Oh Swindon. Once twinned with Disneyland, you are persistently Britain’s most inexplicable city. This sign alone should cause you to abandon all hope.
Pro-tip: police are unsympathetic to attempts to draw a pentagram with tyre-marks.
Bonus points for: being compared, without a trace of irony, to the tea-cups ride at Disneyland.
3. Marble Arch
Image by Andrew Bowden.
Just this year, there have been calls for Marble Arch to be made safer after a cyclist lost a leg in a collision with a lorry that had no extra mirrors.
Pro-tip: install extra mirrors on your lorry, you moron.
Bonus points for: not driving like an idiot.
2. M8 Junctions Through Glasgow
How are these scary? This is one of the most straight-forward roads I’ve been on. It doesn’t even merit a picture.
Pro-tip: stay awake.
Bonus points for: falling asleep, surviving (but not a whole load of them).
1. Spaghetti Junction
Image by Highways Agency.
Spaghetti junction in Birmingham, also known as “The Gravelly Hill Interchange”, is a godawful mess of traffic merging from left, right, and centre, with no-one fully aware of how fast they should be going or what lane they should be in.
Some might say it was a little too obvious: a little too blatantly trying to scare the piss out of everyone trying to use it.
I say to you, sir, that you underestimate the wilful stupidity of the average road planner.
Pro-tip: don’t go to Birmingham.
Bonus points for: having a nice sit-down and a cup of tea.
These roads are all fairly unnerving I suppose, but some are certainly questionable. Over at the Fiat forums, for instance, people were even defending spaghetti junction – mostly on the grounds that they used it every day. Attempts at defending the Magic Roundabout with squiggly lines that were supposed to make direction more clear for us were less successful…
Using one of these roads is guaranteed to increase the cost of everything from your car insurance to your army kit insurance, as it marks you out as somebody who has lost grip on the very nature of reality itself.
In any case I’m definitely avoiding the Magic Roundabout after a recent close encounter with a juggernaut.
How about you? Is there a junction close to where you live that you avoid at all costs? Tell us in the comments section!
James Duval drives very carefully around very boring roads in order to get to work as an IT Manager. In his spare time he writes blog posts for JBI Online, who sell military kit insurance.