Controlling My Temper In College
My dad is a very passive man. You would have to slap him around the face thirty times before he responds. If he is in a dispute he will say his piece, and if that does not work he will just stop. He very rarely gets into any argument, as he says it is just a waste of energy, and the louder someone shouts the more they will hold their position. So the argument is a pure waste of time. Step back and try later is my dad’s way.
Like father like son? Nope not at all. I have a ridiculous attitude and temper, which is even more frustrating as I know it is wrong and damaging to me, but when the red cloud clicks in I have no control over it at all. If I play cards and lose I shout and scream and accuse everybody of cheating, when I just know it is bad luck or I am not playing properly. I just cannot stop it. My mouth starts and sometimes it is followed by my fists. Although as I get a little older I am controlling it a little better. A little being the word.
My dad did send me to a County Anger Management course for five months. I really just found that they just lectured me about the consequences of what I was doing, but did not really give me anyway to handle or change what I was doing. But in fairness I did one day get into a shouting contest with the guy who was running the course. Easy to see why that did not work.
I have always been a physical fighter. I am an average guy, not athletic or muscle bound. But I sometimes compare myself to Marty in Back To The Future. I can never turn down a fight, even if the guy is much bigger or smaller. It really makes no difference to me at all. I have a few times ended up the worse from these encounters, but I never seem to let that stop me from doing it again and again and again.
I move to college six weeks ago. Everybody was unknown to me, the rules all seemed new. The accents were different, and the whole place made me a little nervous. Now when I am nervous I become the Incredible Hulk so I tried to avoid people as much as possible and stayed in my room. Of course the Hulk would still come out as the assignments set were so confusing; I just could not do them without help. Especially essay editing, this just seems like a waste of time to me. Just ask me questions, don’t ask me to think about what the writer was thinking. He’s probably been dead a hundred years anyway.
I have found in class that I do not get a temper. I am actually finding the frustration of keeping up with the work good. I seem to be channeling all my energies not to look stupid, and it is not developing into a temper outburst. I finally had to ask a couple of girls to help me with my essay editing last week. They did, and I was truly grateful. They have even asked me out to the cinema next week. I am so looking forward to that. I just hope we do not go and see the Incredible Hulk, or that they don’t see the other incredible hulk next to them.
Leon Andrew is happy to admit he has not seen the Incredible Hulk for several months.